A Top Tips Article
We are going to launch into this article with a question –
Do I have to use a Funeral Director?
Na! Many people believe that it is compulsory to use the services of a funeral director (I did too, back when my father died) but the simple truth is you don’t.
Do you want a funeral director to handle everything? Now that’s a different question altogether!
The idea of not using a Funeral Director can be shocking. Certainly going solo isn’t for everyone; caring for a loved one and arranging everything yourself. For the moment, let us assume that you do want to employ a Funeral Director, and you need help in how to go about it.
I provide information to empower and guide you, I also try to remain as independent as possible. When searching the different Funeral Director’s, it’s the same as with any other purchase; be shrewd and make sure you know what product you are getting. It feels awful to think of it that way, but it is true nevertheless.
For many, it is a concern that the funeral industry is largely unregulated by the government, which means anyone can set up and call themselves a Funeral Director.
Clarity In An Unregulated Industry
This article will guide you through where to find a Funeral Director, clarifying their professionalism via regulatory bodies, whether to go independent or chain, pricing/budget considerations and services offered.
See the below information regarding The National Association of Funeral Directors and The Society of Independent Funeral Directors.
Where To Find A Funeral Director
I feel most people simply plug a search into Google these days (or other search engine of choice) and look at which FD’s are nearest to them. It isn’t quite that simple though and I encourage you to look at all the points made here before making a decision.
Primary ways to find a Funeral Director-
- Previously used Funeral Director (You may go back to one used before)
- Recommendation (someone you know and trust has recommended them)
- Internet search
- Directories (see below)
- Government Website (usually will provide a list but not recommendations)
- Charity Website (usually will provide a list but not recommendations)
- Hospital Services (usually will provide a list but not recommendations)
- Consultant
- Membership Groups
Directories
Regulating bodies will usually have directories of Funeral Director’s. While the industry is not regulated by the government, there are professional organisations which Funeral Director’s belong to which provide you with peace of mind because they adhere to a code of conduct. These organisations have a wealth of information and help you choose a funeral director, what to look out for and what to expect.
The National Association of Funeral Directors
The National Association of Funeral Directors (NAFD) is one of the leading organisations in the UK, promoting excellent standards. They support the profession and also provide information and advice for families.
They also have a published set of standards called ‘The Funeral Directors Code’. Now, I can’t ever hear about a Code without thinking of the ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ film where there is a running joke about the code being less like a set rule and more of a guideline. Thankfully that is not the case here and the ‘The Funeral Directors Code’ was refreshed in 2025 to take into account more modern practices and concerns around funeral-care.
The Society of Independent Funeral Directors
The Society of Independent Funeral Directors (SAIF) is a trade association working on behalf of Independent Funeral Directors (see section Independent or Chain? below) following conglomerates and chain companies flooding the sector. SAIF works to educate and support smaller independent funeral directors and their families, they also have a Code of Practice.
The Government
https://www.gov.uk/after-a-death/arrange-the-funeral
Depending on the circumstances you find yourself in when a loved one dies, the Government website is likely the first place you will be directed to. Truthfully there is a great deal of information on the site to help guide you through the whole process from the moment a person dies, to the funeral and beyond.
As with most government literature, it is dry and reading it can be difficult. The presentation is not particularly user friendly and most families will skim read it, relying on the funeral director or others to help them navigate it in a piecemeal fashion.
My funeral consultancy can help guide you through the progressive stages so that you don’t have to figure it out alone. You can find more about this in my article ‘What to do when someone dies’.
The Good Funeral Guide
Time and again I return to the Good Funeral Guide because there is so much information on there for families. They are a non-profit organisation who seek to empower, support and advise families by providing information and advice for free.
The Natural Death Centre
http://www.naturaldeath.org.uk/index.php?page=funeral-directors-list
For many years I have returned to the Natural Death Centre for their no nonsense and down to earth approach to death. They are strong advocates for families who have had poor experiences with funeral directors and other professionals in the industry; sadly these poor experiences happen more regularly than you would like to think.
The website is a little dated and not the easiest to navigate but it is worth it for the information they provide. Sadly like many charities and organisations, funding is low and they would rather provide support to families than spend out on sparkly new technology.
Independent or Chain?
And does it matter?
Independent funeral directors are often, though not always, family businesses. They usually proudly state on their website home page that they are independent and family run. Independents are often smaller but this doesn’t mean they are not capable of delivering. They usually have good contacts in their local area and offer a great deal of flexibility because it is them that make the decisions.
Chain funeral directors are conglomerates who have branches throughout the country. Technically this means you should be able to expect consistent services though it is not always the case. They are not usually family run and in some areas of the country they can have high staff turnover. They have a set structure to their pricing and services and flexibility is slightly lower, though it depends what you are looking for. For example, you might want a particular type of coffin; an independent might be able to source one for you but a chain director would offer you an alternative because it isn’t a company the chain invests in.
Caution here, do not be misled! Some chain companies purchase a local, independent business but instead of rebranding it they keep it as it was. Families think they are dealing with an independent family business when in fact they are dealing with a chain.
Large companies know the intimate, family business is appealing.
Does it matter? That is a case of personal preference. There are pros and cons to both, it depends what you are looking for. As with anything, researching in advance and knowing your requirements will help you make a choice. We are blessed in Cornwall, there are a great deal of independent funeral directors to choose from.
Pricing & Budget
Budget is a huge consideration in today’s financial and social climate. You may have read my article ‘Funeral Costs in 2026’, as a county we are struggling to afford to live in the ongoing cost-of-living-crisis, it makes sense that we are considering the £££.
This can lead to internal conflict, we want to provide the most fitting and appropriate send off, but we are struggling to afford it.
Funeral Director’s are legally bound to be transparent in their pricing. However they often all display their pricing differently and this can be confusing for families. Add to this the fact that there are different types of funeral, disbursements and services, it can become a real headache.
Prices range from £2085 to £2595 on a brief Google search of six funeral directors in Cornwall. This is the basic cost for their services, but as soon as you add to those services the price goes up accordingly.
Know your budget before you contact funeral directors, make sure they explain their breakdown clearly. Know what services you want and ask about the cost of all of them so there are no surprises.
Services
I am not going to discuss all the services that all funeral directors offer here, rather, I am going to briefly discuss what you should look for when talking to your funeral director about the services they offer.
This is about choice and family wishes. Any good funeral director will work hard to ensure that your loved one has the send off they deserve, in the way you ask for. Of course some requests may not be possible, and if that is the case they should clearly tell you so.
So many families hand over the control to the funeral director and allow them to make the decisions, and it is understandable! Reputable Funeral Directors are also really good at what they do, so it makes sense to let them do it. You have been bereaved, you are in pain, you are grieving, and making decisions about flowers and cars doesn’t feel right. This is why pre-planning is so important, being informed, letting your loved ones know your wishes, it makes it so much easier to arrange at the time of need.
Does the funeral director offer you a selection of choices? Are they happy to work with different companies in order to fulfill your wishes? Are they open to when and where the service is to be held? Are they offering you full choice around personalisation? Do they understand your views and requirements around spirituality or faith? Do you feel heard?
So many families don’t know their options and if you aren’t offered choices you may not realise until years down the line, ‘I could have done that for dad’ or ‘My son really would have loved a ceremony on the beach, we just didn’t realise’.
You don’t know what you don’t know.
My 5 Key Take-Away Points
1. Go with recommendations where possible. If someone you trust has had a good experience then the chances are you will too.
2. Remember that poor Funeral Directors can still be found on directories. While they may do what the organisation’s code stipulates, it might be that is all they do. Cross reference and see if a particular company keeps cropping up.
3. As distressing as this time is, remember that Funeral Directors are businesses and they are offering you a service.
4. Really think ahead of time about what you or your loved one wants. Know your budget and go into the FD with clear ideas. You don’t have to know all the details, they can help you drill down on those. You do need to ask ‘what can I do to honour this life?’
5. If you are finding it difficult to navigate the information, or you need support and guidance to help feel more comfortable and in control, then give me a call. I can talk you through your options.